Saturday Night Live Light

I think I'm going to start mailing letters to the office of Saturday Night Live requesting my time back after watching some of their programming. Too often the sketches are predictable and rarely very funny. Recently they've been going for shock value material, i.e The Vogalcheck family skits, which some may say is bold from an actor point of view, but to me speaks volumes about the writers' lack of creativity. Speaking of the actors, I do believe the show puts out some of the best comedic talent in the industry today, particularly Kristen Wiig, who saves the show on a weekly basis with her amazing skills. Other strong players are Fred Armisen (if only for his impersonation of Joy Behar), Will Forte, Bill Hader, and Andy Samberg. The latter's digital shorts are a refreshing break from the sloppy live skits.

There are no doubt some amazing writers working for SNL, but perhaps theirs is a problem of team unity and cohesion. Apart, they can do their own thing, which may be much stronger; but together, their ideas get muddled into the lowest common denominator of humor. Even Zach Galifianakis, perhaps the funniest guy on the planet, couldn't hold up some of the sketches that were produced.

So I say to you, Betty White - end SNL's season on a good note. It could all be resting on your eighty-something shoulders. God Speed.

Welcome New Followers and Please Tell Your Friends

Let me bid a hearty welcome to the new followers of this blog. Whatup posse.

So, during the past few days, I've discovered why buying a house is such a hassle. I've heard people complain about the process many a time, but its just one of those things you have to experience for yourself. The plan as of now is to look for a nice place to rent in Bmore. Rooftop deck is a must. Let me know if you have any leads.

Well, the O's stand at 4-17 as of now. I wish I could say I thought it would be better, but I can't. Bring on the prospects! Make Dave Trembley the bat boy! If Terry Crowley is so knowledgeable about hitting, use him in a pinch.

Subject SWITCH!!!!

Okay I'm watching the Daily Show and their guest is Ken Blackwell, an "author". He also happens to be the former Iowa Secretary of State who received numerous charges of voter disenfranchisement during the 2004 Presidential Election. The book he's hawking is about Obama's 'imperial' presidency. Essentially Mr. Blackwell is comparing the Bush/Obama transition to the Herbert Hoover/Franklin D. Roosevelt switch that occurred amid the struggles of the Great Depression. Today's economic problems are an obvious link to that era, although times now aren't nearly as dire. Blackwell says that Obama will follow in Roosevelt's footsteps in terms of government expansion and increased centralized power. Of course, George W. Bush was himself responsible for an enormous expansion in government, particularly within the Executive Branch. Blackwell should know that everyone hates a hypocrite.

Let me paint you a picture of Ken Blackwell real quick. Basically, he's Sean Hannity/Rush Limbaugh in the body of former NFL linebacker Mike Singletary. It's sad to watch Jon Stewart try to reason with this madcap moron. J Stew lays out logic and facts and this guy just giggles and stutters and spits out talking point bullshit. I get really annoyed with people who complain about the state of the nation under Obama's young presidency. They seem to unconsciously ignore the eight years of bad decisions that occurred before Obama showed up. Those large-scale mistakes and omissions take time to mop up fully. And here is a sobering point: Healthcare may end up being a significant strain on the American economy. That's fair to speculate. But what else was and continues to drain our Treasury? Oh yea, the Iraq war! The only difference is that Healthcare will end up saving lives. The war just ended them. If you don't think that means anything then you are loco. Anyway, Ken Blackwell just made Weal's Words first installment of D'Bag O' Da Blog. Congratulations!

News Flash: The Orioles are recalling Brady Anderson from the MASN broadcasting booth to play for Adam Jones. How dare Jones suck now that I have a Jones jersey! Just my luck.

Did Obama hear me?

No, Obama probably does not read this blog. However, it is a little suspicious that not long after my post about Wall Street screwing the country over left and right, I hear the news that Obama is pushing for financial reform. Then Goldman Sachs becomes the target of fraud accusations. It sort of feels like Christmas morning, only the wait for presents was long overdue.

It's about time that the government stepped in and actually started the process of creating regulations for an industry that has had none for so long. I'm sorry, but you just can't trust a business entity to do what's right or moral. Businesses are not people - they don't have that trusty little inner compass known as a conscious. Money will always beat out morals in the business world.

Cracking down on the derivatives issue is something I am particularly pleased with, as it is the heart of what's wrong with the financial system in Wall Street. Huge corporations were essentially betting against the same investments that they were recommending to their customers. If that's not fraud, then I don't know what is.

What angers me about financial reform is the fact that when this process first began, Republicans again succumbed to their knee-jerk, I-will-disagree-with-any-view-from the other side-reaction. Their collective unwillingness to actually think like reasonable human beings nearly threatened Congress' ability to debate the subject. Then I hear today that the Republicans have done an about-face. Somebody on the right must have come to his/her senses and realized that if they continued their resistance to financial reform, they were essentially alienating themselves from all the Joe the Plumbers that continually support them in every election. By fighting the Dems on this issue, they were basically siding with Wall Street, which would akin to political suicide.

Despite the many differences that exist between voters in this country, most people can still agree that it sucks to have money taken out of your pockets. If you don't agree with that, then you are probably the one taking the loot in the first place. And if you are that person, well, you suck.

Congress needs to prove to the country that bipartisan politics is not a thing of the past. We can all agree that Healthcare reform was a nasty battle, with many on the other side coming out of it with feelings of intense bitterness. It would be nice to see politicians who are able to put such raw emotions aside and continue to focus on what's best for the country. Don't we deserve that after all we've been through?

USA! USA!

Oh and on a side note, Jon Stewart totally opened up a can of whoop ass on Fox News slimeball Bernie Goldberg. I think that's his name. Anyway, the fact that this guy even picks a fight with a late-night comedian is a testament to how insecure he really is. And I'm sorry, but if you're a major news network and you are constantly getting into political arguments with a program on Comedy Central, you've already lost the battle.

Sweet Relief

And breathe. To the diehard Orioles fan, today's 8-3 victory over those pesky A's was like game 7 of the World Series. At least that's how it felt for me near the end, my fingers tightly crossed watching Jim Johnson try to hold that shaky five run lead. As it turned out, the ninth inning was suspiciously easy, especially so considering the type of innings O's fans were put through during the team's heart-wrenching 9-game skid. So, enjoy this moment. Soak it in. Revel in its greatness. Because tomorrow is just game 14 of the 162 game season and we have a sizable hole to dig ourselves out of. And don't forget about all those wonderful injuries. My hope is that today's strangely high dosage of offensive output is the beginning of a positive turn for our leadoffer-less lineup (alliterations are fun!). Pairing an improved offense with the above-average starting pitching (not including Bergy) we've gotten has to equal some victories. Of course, the Orioles would still find a way to lose, or at least make it unnecessarily interesting. But I've become a bit of a pessimist. Naturally.

So again I say savor this moment ye weary and tired O's fans. It only gets rougher from here.

Sorry to be a buzzkill, by the way.

The 3 R's of Sunday

Sunday is for resting, recovery, and reflection. For me, its a day when I can look back and mull over the choices I've made during the past week (Yes, technically Sunday is the start of the new week, but I've always viewed it as day 7). This was probably not one of my better weeks in terms of decision-making. The good news is that I'd be a perfect fit for the Baltimore Orioles. (1-11, really?)

I think the sign of a mature adult is the ability to look beyond short-term pleasures that may be self-destructive and remain focused on the bigger picture. Now if you are saying to yourself, "Hey I know plenty of adults who can't achieve this kind of discipline", consider whether you would classify these folks as mature. Admittedly, I have not reached this level of maturity myself, although I hope one day I will. Consequences from poor decisions can seem scary, and indeed they should be, but one should not overlook their worth in changing bad behavior. Instead of diverting the blame to some external factor, the mature adult ponders the situation as a whole and tries to assess how he or she could have done things differently to achieve a better result.

I don't mean to be preachy, and I'll be the first to admit that I have a ways to go, but it can't hurt to think about. The world needs more thoughtful people who can admit their mistakes and try to become better individuals. Today it seems that anywhere you look, their are people in positions of power who are far to quick to point their fingers in any direction but their own. These are not the types of people that I want making decisions that affect my life.

As of right now, the 'R' that I need to deal with the most on this Sunday is recovery, so I shall end my post here.

The Ferris Weal

The Orioles dug deep last night.....and found a new low. I'm not even going to look at the standings this year. And that's all I'll write about that poor team.

Reading is Fun!

During many my younger years, I was an avid pleasure reader. Hardy Boys and Goosebumps comprised much of the content. Then, as I went through middle and high school English, my love of reading seemed to have extinguished. Even throughout my college years, the flame was still out. Then, out of nowhere, it returned! Today I have a library card again, and I am usually mid-read of some book at some time. For years after my theory about this temporary absence in my reading-for-fun practice has been that all the book reports and other writings that were assigned to me in school killed my inherent love of the craft. Thinking about it now, perhaps I was too harsh. Perhaps my time in English classes just opened my eyes to other genres and styles of writing and inevitably to some I didn't like all that much. But then again there were those that I did enjoy. And even the reports that I look back at now with disdain may have actually disciplined me as a reader, honing my ability to encode and process the information that was being read and ultimately comprehend it. So, to my educational system, I say: thank you?

My current read has been "The Devil in the White City: Murder, Magic, and Madness at the Fair that Changed America". After finishing 2/3 of it, I know why it once was a #1 New York Times Bestseller. Taking place during the last decade of the nineteenth century, "White City" chronicles the events leading up to and taking place during Chicago's 1893 World's Fair. In addition to it being a crime thriller that involves a smooth-talking, good looking sociopathic killer and his insatiable lust for killing young women....for profit, this book also invites the reader to witness a plethora of exhibits that were seen by people at the fair for the first time and today comprise objects we often use or enjoy in regularity. One such premiere was a mind-perplexing structure that consisted of a gigantic steel wheel that was propped up vertically on either side by two steel towers. Connected to the wheel were several train cars that could hold up to six people. Through steam power, the wheel would turn. The designer was a man by the name of Ferris. That's pretty cool.

Reading "White City" has been fun for a number of reasons, but discovering first glimpses at everyday modern appliances and objects of entertainment is particularly amazing to me. Material items aside, the fair also affected the power that labor unions now enjoy, sparked a new and improved emphasis on a strong police force, and opened a public's eyes to the benefits of proper sewage systems and water treatment technology. One of which - not getting cholera or diphtheria. Sweet! These new creations are indeed no minor aspects in the lives we live today. They are absolutely essential to us and our well-being. Today most people called that six-month long event the Chicago World's Fair. But it was also known as an exposition, which I think sounds more sophisticated. The fairs that I go to today are surely not up to snuff with what happened in 1893. Although they both share one thing: a shitload of horse manure!

Obama can you hear me?

During the 2008 presidential campaign, a popular method of discussing the financial crisis was to highlight the competing interests of two parties: wall street and main street. Now unless you are very comfortably wealthy and/or an actual stock broker on Wall street, you would probably claim to be part of the main street faction. This is of course where the large majority of Americans are in terms of socioeconomic status. The Presidential candidates obviously used this Wall street/main street rhetoric to remind on-the-fence voters where their allegiance lied. After all, don't we all want a President of, by, and for the people? Of course we do. Now such a strategy in and of itself is all well and good, but the reality of the situation appears to contradict the sentiment that both candidates were trying to convey.

I am an Obama supporter. I believe that he is a charismatic, thoughtful, and inspiring leader for our country. At first glance, Obama's entire existence seems to be polar opposite to our former president, who not only damaged our standing in the world both morally and monetarily, but embarrassed us and himself on an almost nightly basis with verbal gaffes and feats of immense ignorance. Indeed, our last two presidents couldn't seem more different from each other. Despite this sharp dichotomy, Obama and Bush share one common friend: big business.

It's been months and months since we were staring economic disaster in the face. A financial industry stripped of any meaningful regulations had been running wild, playing by their own rules, and sucking dry the incomes and savings of struggling American families. Quick question: do you know what a credit default swap is? If you don't, you're certainly not alone. And I won't waste my time trying to explain it. To a wealthy Wall street investor, the beauty of something like a CDS is in its complexity. The average Joe out on main street (wherever that may be) doesn't have the time or mental dexterity to wrap his head around such an abstract concept. He knows something is flawed with our financial system, but putting it into words is a near impossibility. And thats just fine by Wall street.

As someone who voted for Obama expecting change, I am pretty disappointed that over a year into his Presidency, he has yet to put in place any new government regulations that could curb the brazen and irresponsible actions of companies that have been pegged, "too big to fail." And as much as I'd like to see Obama in the White House for eight years, I'd really rather have him stay true to his ideals on important issues and not pay so much attention to the political unrest it may cause. It seems that these days, political leaders are in constant campaign mode. Controversial issues that need to be dealt with immediately are put off for a later time, when the potential backlash they cause won't damage an elected official's chance for re-election. Obama campaigned for and won the Presidency on promises of being a true representative of the people. Every single day we have our wallets and purses picked. Wall street or main street - Mr. President, it's time to pick a side.

Homecoming

Yesterday I had the pleasure of spending yet another sunny April day in Baltimore for the Orioles' home opener. The atmosphere was frenetic, with large swaths of people cramming themselves inside the gates of Pickles Pub and Slider's Grill. Baseball had returned to Charm City and hope for a successful (ok, adequate) season had yet to be scoffed at by those pesky pessimists. That positive thinking reached its peak as Miguel Tejada tied the game with his first home run of the season and Cesar Izturis put the O's on top with a clutch single. Happy ending, right?

Nope. Mike Gonzalez, one the O's primary free agent acquisitions, delivered to the citizens of Birdland (I'm embarrassed to have typed this last PR recreation) the second blown save in his first three attempts of the year. I should put that number at two and half, considering he let the the Rays load the bases and almost pull another one out on Wednesday night. Now many Orioles fans I know have already written this new closer of ours off. Personally, I'm willing to give him another week. Dave Trembley - who knows. In my view, if Koji Uehara can ever get and stay healthy, I'd imagine he would be the next man up to take over the reins of the ninth inning. Given his track record of throwing strikes and having success going through a lineup for at least the first time, it makes sense to throw him in there. Unfortunately, the status of his sore hamstring has hamstrung the O's and hurt their bullpen depth as a whole. Only time will tell.

Despite yesterday's heartbreaking loss, I had a great time in Baltimore with my friends. I also enjoyed the fact that my co-ed touch football team, the Arabian Knights, went 2-0 in our Saturday doubleheader. The defense stepped up this week, we four interceptions between the two games. Our only real obstacle during the day was dealing with hangovers. Winning definitely helped.

Politics has yet to make an appearance in this blog, so let me change that:

Sarah Palin, your voice is like a thousand knives cutting the insides of my ears. Now let me say first before I offend anyone from the region of the country that she is from that it has nothing to do with her accent. That would be demeaning to those who have a similar vocal styling but happen to be decent human being. Mrs. P's voice has the effect on me that it does because of the misleading bile that saturates her every word. It is one thing to be completely ignorant. It is another to willfully distort facts. Despite her aura of 'dumb', I do not believe that she is actually stupid. That's what displeases me most about her. Many of the people who support her the strongest are the least informed and the most emotional about the various issues that she harps on in speeches and interviews. Oh and calling her oratory adventures 'speeches' may be giving her too much credit. They're more akin to an endless string of talking points and catchy PR-infused slogans. My least favorite is "Don't Retreat, Reload". This verbal creation is particularly disturbing considering her well-known affinity for hunting.....from helicopters. Now I'm not saying that she is subtly endorsing violence as a way to express opposing viewpoints, I'm just saying that 'Reload' is not the kind of term that should be bandied about in any kind of political rhetoric. It certainly does not conjure up positive images, and considering this country's bloody past, using such a word is downright irresponsible. So basically, I want to say to Sarah Palin, "Shame on you. Now kindly quit your day job and go back to reporting the weather." :)

That's all for this post.

I'm Psychic!!!!

I'm watching Rick Dempsey and his moustache console the broken-hearted O's fans who had to sit through a second straight one-run loss. And I predicted it! I'm psychic. No, wait, I'm just way too familiar with losses like these. The Orioles score early, the pitcher settles down, and the Rays just chip away. Chip chip chip. Oh and then they add to their one-run lead in the 8th - like a winning ball club does. And can I please add that Eva Longoria's son is way too good. I really shouldn't be this fired up after two games. I need to pace my angry self.

Okay, so I won't bitch for an entire blog post (is that what it's called?).

TIGER WOODS!

Oh I just thought I'd make sure you were still paying attention. And that is also the last time you'll here his name....and anything remotely related to golf on this blizznog.

I worked today at my job as a tutor and for the first time, I was actually somewhat busy. Four young minds were under my tutelage, and I really had to stretch the bounds of my intellectual prowess. This proved successful up until the dreaded multiplication and division of two fractions. It was like temporary kryptonite on my brain device. Some may call it a math-induced brain fart. But I doubt it. Superman references aside, I dug deep inside whatever place holds the distant mathematical operation knowledge and found it - on page 67 of the Teacher's Edition math book. Hey they're there for a reason! But seriously, so far so good with this add-on part time job. It's fairly rewarding, so I got that going for me. Although at this point, I'll throw rewarding out the window for full time and benefits. Who cares, so what? (That last sentence should be mentally read in the voice of Joy Behar, as played by Fred Armisen on SNL)

Alright universe, I have to cut out on this piece to watch blue-puppet Michael Steele get interviewed on the Daily Show.

Opening Day

(Drum roll)

Welcome one and all to opening day. As a baseball fan, this is a special day. And as a blogger, well, I guess it just feels new. Opening day may be my favorite day of the year. It's the beginning of a long, sometimes draining season in which everything and anything is possible, from great triumph to crushing defeat. What makes opening day so special is that that feeling of possibility is so fleeting. Sometimes it vanishes as soon as the pitcher throws that first pitch. For me, the thought process shifts immediately to concerns and quibbles over minor details of the situation at hand. That's why I love baseball. You can get lost in the minutiae. This is of particular comfort to me as an Orioles fan. Focusing on the minor specifics of the sport helps me block out the team's place in the standings.

This blog, should it receive my consistent, steady attention and survive, will not always be about baseball. It will be sports-themed to a point, but don't be caught off-guard if you find yourself reading about my views on Obama, yo mama, or any of the drama on TV or in the real world. Alright so I may not be discussing your mama, unless perhaps I know you personally. In the most basic sense, this blog will consist of my honest, unbiased opinions on events and news of the day, as well as inevitable angry rants about my hometown team's latest heart-wrenching loss. But I'll try to make those funny at least.

Oh yea, and back to the O's:

Adam Jones, Nick Markakis, Brian Roberts, Nolan Reimold, Matt Wieters, Brian Matusz, Chris Tillman, Jake Arrieta, Zach Britton, Brandon Erbe, Josh Bell, Steve Johnson, Matt Hobgood, THE FUTURE IS COMING.........

That felt good. Anyway, thanks for reading if you did. Expect the next blog soon.